Why We Don't Get What We Want & How To Change It.


Awhile back, we were challenged to think of our "best self," and who that person is and what their typical day looks like. Anytime we find ourself not progressing we try to stop and ask ourselves, "What am I doing that's holding me back?" After all, the only one we're accountable for is ourselves. Life might deal blows and even tragedy but as creators we have to take responsibility for the worlds we create. It's easy to compare what we have to other people. "If I had what 'So-and-so has I'd have A, B or C." All to often we fail to realize that "So-and-so," probably has what they have because they made an effort to go get it and place themselves in a position to make it happen.

Even if someone wrongs us, it's a more efficient use of our time dusting ourselves off and moving on than sitting around and complaining. Imagine a cyclist in a race that falls off his bike. Instead of getting back on the road, he pulls off to the side and gathers the spectators and gives a seething speech on why his fall was not his fault. "They didn't pave the road properly here. My chain is dirty. The other racer cut me off! I could have come in first!" While all of these may in fact be true, it doesn't help him finish the race. He screams, "It's not fair!" He's totally right but the tragedy is that even if it was in fact out of his control, or worse, someone else's fault, it doesn't help him. It hurts him.

We feel more and more it's so easy to succumb to this mindset and it may even be warranted. This year especially has been rough and stressful. The music industry like so many others has come to a grinding halt and it's hard to stay positive when there's so much to complain about. The problem with this is that where we decide to put our focus ends up becoming a more vivid reality. Every single action we take starts with a thought, whether it's subconscious or meticulously planned for weeks. In short, when we focus on negative things, we do negative things. However, thankfully, the same is true of the opposite.

Neither of us are particularly religious but we always admired Creation stories. A being with only an idea says, "Let there be..." and it happens. We're not saying that this philosophy will yield a perfect existence like a lot of books suggest but we do feel that underneath the sentiment lies an inherent truth. If you only focus on falling off a bike you'll live your life with scabby knees. If you only focus on how messed up our political system is, it will never change. If you only focus on how much better your co-worker has it you won't ever get that promotion. It's because you're wasting time. You're wasting that thing inside you that wants to create something good.

You Have To Believe In Yourself

The only one that's in your way is you. We've learned this the hard way so many times and we're sure we're not done. As musicians, it's easy to buy into weird lies. "You have to be in the right place at the right time." As if serendipity is the only means of success. It's like saying, "The only way to start a business is to win the lottery." While this does happen (look up Baconaise), it's not normal. Cosmic cards don't have to line up just right for you to be happy and feel proud of what you're doing. Only you know what your dreams are. So, it's only up to you to go for them.

Successful Me

We'd like you to take a challenge with us. If you knew that you'd reached the pinnacle of a successful life, make a list of what the person looks like. What does that person do when they wake up? What kind of attitude does that person have? Here's a few of ours...

More often than not, the things we really want don't require a different life. They require a different attitude and perspective. Imagine what life could be like if we just said what we want for ourselves instead of focusing on what we don't want. We see a huge issue with polarization between people that have most things in common. Most people want to have enough food, peace, low crime, access to good healthcare, safety for our loved ones, a good place to sleep when it's cold and to belong even when we make mistakes. We argue tirelessly, behind keyboards that make us 10 feet taller than we are in person and no one ever actually says what they want. The next time you want to complain skip it and just say what you want. You probably won't be met with any opposition because you're creating something good from the very start of the conversation. In the words of Socrates, "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting the hardest battle." If we hope to be heard, we must first find out what we have in common. If we all want the same things we have a better chance of getting them if we ACTUALLY focus on them.

Vlogcast Tonight!

We'll be talking more about our personal experiences on this topic tonight (WED 08/19/20) live on YouTube at 8pm/est. Be sure to subscribe HERE so you can tell us your thoughts in the live chat. If you can't make it, we'll leave it up on our channel so you can leave your thoughts in the comment section. We really like hearing from you, especially since we're not able to get back to normal touring just yet. See you tonight!

Special Thanks To Our Patrons!

Being independent musicians isn't always the most lucrative thing but we're able to keep going through the generous contributions from our Patrons at patreon.com/Roshambeaux. There's different tiers that include include exclusive content, music, videos, early access and one on one interaction starting at just $1/month. So, if you like what we do and find some value in it, please consider becoming a patron along side these awesome people below. It goes such a long way!

Rachel E, Nancy B, Spencer R, Steve B, Renee T

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Thanks Jeff C & Grass Cutters for helping us to continue to create!


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